We’ve all been there, right smack in the middle of working out or running (the part when it starts to hurt), and thoughts of doubt flood your head. You start questioning why you’re doing this to yourself.
That moment is what I have learned to chase. That moment is when real growth happens.
I married my husband, a pilot in the army, fifteen years ago. The young, naive me knew there would be hard moments, I mean he left for a combat deployment the day after our honeymoon so I was kind of baptized by fire, but my goal always was to find my way out of the hard as quickly as possible. This strategy left me constantly wishing for the time to pass, regularly feeling negative (think Eeyore) and exhausted by trying to control as much as possible just to have that temporary comfort.
I realized, years ago, our time here is fleeting (brilliant and profound I know). We all have a choice – love uncomfortable and grow or love comfortable and decay.
There’s a saying in parenting, “some kids learn in the classroom and some kids have to take the field trip.” Welp, I am the adult who always has to take the field trip. I found myself for years saying, “this is just a hard year.” Whether it was a deployment, a new baby, illness, etc. LIFE IS HARD and especially SERVICE LIFE IS HARD! At some point it clicked in my thick head (lightbulb moment), just like the workout that breaks down my muscles, this HARD is a gift. A gift of future strength, a gift of growing stronger in my faith (literally the Holy Spirit is the only way I’ve made it through many days) and the gift of perspective (this life is NOT about our comfort only).
Last year, we found our family was facing a quick but temporary change. My husband was going to be sent to school with the Army that would require he live 700 miles from our current home. While my husband has served in the military on Active status for more than two decades, we’ve had the luxury of living in the same town/home/community that entire time. So this news of school was a shakeup for us to say the least.
Immediately, I was bombarded with questions from friends and family asking if I would stay in our home and live with the kids while he’s away or would we go with him. To me, there was never an option. After my years of running FROM HARD, I had also come to realize, our family is a team with a mission. The mission isn’t to give everyone the most comfortable “stable” life possible. Our mission is to glorify God and continue to grow in order to glorify him more in all we do. Understanding what your purpose is, both individually and as a family, allows you to see something HARD and not question or try to get around it. Side note, that doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t complain (insert my guilty face)
Moving was HARD. We had a few weeks to pack up, make plans, etc. Toteing our paralyzed dog, four kids and two cars, it seemed everything that could have gone wrong on our PCS (Permanent Change of Station) move did. We moved into an old house one fourth the size of our previous home. Living in a new city, we made the decision to homeschool our kids for the year.
To say this year has been HARD is an understatement but oh what we’ve gained. Friendships I never knew could be so rich so fast, gained skills and knowledge for my husband to better serve, hours upon hours with my sweet children I would not otherwise have, we’ve gotten to see and experience so much. When I looked at this year, all I could see was hard and UNCOMFORTABLE, but I know that’s where the treasure is.
Have you ever given something so much time and attention that it became a problem? And contrary, have you ever neglected something so greatly it became an even bigger problem? Lets dive into something that could easily fall into either of those categories…lets talk SELF-CARE!