estherly women – How Estherly

Simone Biles and the problem with being a god

We’ve been through the ringer lately. I mean really. For a people who haven’t experienced real hardship since World War II, we have taken it on the chops the past couple of years. And here it is, 2021, the year when we are supposed to get our lives back, the year when COVID is supposed to be gone, and the year that we take a collective sigh of relief. And with our hopes of returning to some semblance of normalcy, we are looking for bright spots in the landscape that can rejuvenate our spirits. Enter the 2021 summer olympics. Sure, there’s no audience, and the whole event is being threatened by a typhoon, but it’s the Olympics. It’s time for the brightest and best of the world’s athletes to demonstrate their abilities and to celebrate the patriotism of one’s country from which they hail. The Olympics represents the human condition in the best of ways – through displays of hard work, perseverance, mastery, and competition. The Olympics gives us something to get excited about, heroes to root for, and a distraction from the disappointments we may be feeling right now. And one of America’s favorite events? Women’s gymnastics. We love to watch gymnastics because for many people, what these athletes do is unimaginable. How do they seem to fly through the air with ease and actually land on both feet? How are they able to be so flexible and so strong at the same time? We are in awe of their intense focus and superhuman ability. And U.S. gymnasts always make us proud. This year was no different. The gals of the 2021 Olympic women’s gymnastics team fought their way to get to Tokyo – in more ways than one – braving their sport through qualifying competitions and sexual abuse trauma, a worldwide pandemic, and one even had a parent granted a delay to her prison sentence so she could see her daughter compete. We all watched closely as the beautiful team of Americans began competing for gold. And we especially were watching the one named Simone Biles, who many referred to as the GOAT. The greatest gymnast of all time.

But, Simone will not be bringing home any medals this year. She uncharacteristically faltered on a couple routines, and pulled out of the team competition, followed by the individual competition, citing mental health concerns. Her teammates will go on without her. The internet exploded into a frenzy of opinions on whether she was a coward or a hero, and the debates broke out. I remained silent on the issue as I watched a person be torn apart and also glorified by people who had never so much as seen her in person, let alone ever met her. A person who has thoughts and feelings like you and I. A person who clearly needed something in this time that she does not have, because whatever she’s going through was too much for her to continue competing at the world’s finest competition. As I watched and read the comments, my opinion started to form and then the opposite opinion would cross my mind, and I weighed what my ultimate thoughts were on this issue, and I realized that I don’t have an opinion. She is a human athlete who made a choice, be it right or wrong, it really doesn’t matter. What does matter is that Simone’s story is a cautionary tale of the danger of being a god – or in her case, a goddess – in this world. You see, we’re all looking for something to hold us up. Before the pandemic, we were up. We were doing pretty well. Sure, there was some dirt on the surface, there was some infighting going on, but for the most part our bellies and our wallets were full. We knew what side we were on, we knew what we thought about things, and we were ok with everything. And then. Our health started to fail. In the form of a tiny virus that threatened sickness and death. Our routines failed. We had to stay home from work and school and find new ways to do normal things. For some of us our relationships failed as we fought over politics, and being home together so long took its toll. Some had jobs or businesses that failed. We couldn’t find toilet paper or paper towels. We couldn’t go out and do what we enjoy. We couldn’t see our loved ones – not at least, without a mask or being six feet away. And suddenly, the things that had kept us up were failing us. For many, the government had failed them. The church failed. The masks failed. Maybe even the vaccine failed. But here! Here is a beautiful gymnast with amazing talents to remind us of all that is good and amazing in this world. The type of athlete that should be on the Wheeties box, and can be a role-model for every child who wants to do great things. She has faced adversity, and she is strong and she is a winner. She represents everything great we want life to be. And we waited on bated breath. We wanted Simone Biles to hold us up. We wanted Simone Biles to tell us everything will be ok.

But she tripped. She almost fell. And then she quit. She dropped out. She left her comrades to finish without her. And this spurned every response, ranging from curiosity to contempt. The response showed me that when we put our hope on human shoulders, they cannot hold us up. When we put our hopes on a person, we crush them under our expectations. Imagine having the eyes of the whole world on you – expecting you to be perfect, to win, to show no weakness. Expecting you to help bring the country out of a dark time by crushing the competition. Nobody can take on the weight of all that by themselves. And when we stand on a weak foundation, we fall. And fall people did. They fell in their shock, their confusion, their anger, and their disgust. Maybe no one sees it the way I do, that Simone was a foundation that many built their hope. But if we’re honest, we’ve been looking to anything to restore our hope, our happiness, our safety. We’ve been looking for any assurance that things will get better.

But here we are, COVID cases are on the rise again, masks are being mandated once again, the economy is struggling, our government is struggling, and Simone Biles, our Olympic hero is no longer a competitor. So where do we put our hope? Who will hold us up? Who will stroke our head and tell us that all is not lost?

The only one who can withstand the weight of our needs and expectations is the only one who has been able to withstand our humanity from the beginning. It’s Jesus Christ. It’s like the song says, “On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand”. We have to be so careful of putting our hopes in gods. By that I mean little g gods. Those things and people around us that may seem like something to trust. Something or someone to worship. We must be so careful that our hope is in nothing else than our savior Jesus. Because health will fail. Money will fail. People will fail. And when they fail under the crushing weight we put on them, we too will also fail. But when we put all of our hopes and dreams and fears and disappointments on Jesus, He is willing and able to carry them – and us – without tripping and without falling. And He will never leave us nor forsake us, because He loves us. And in these uncertain times, He wants us to come to Him, not the world, to find peace and assurance. He wants us to trust Him and seek Him and find Him.

So let’s pray for Simone and what she is going through. Let’s repent for the sin of idol worship – whatever that may look like in our lives – and let’s run to the one from whom our hope comes from. Let’s persevere through hard circumstances and remember what Jesus said: “In this world you will have troubles, but take heart for I have overcome the world”. (John 16:33b)

**Sidenote: Mental health is a serious issue, and a rising epidemic in our country. Getting help is important. If you or someone you know has had thoughts of hurting themselves or someone else, please get help. You are wanted and needed in this world. We need to be stronger mentally so we can handle what life sends our way. As Bible believing Christians, when we stand on the truth, we do not need to fear, and the pressures of this world melt away because the only one we need to please is God, and He loves us already and gives us everything we need to please Him. Look for Jesus, dear friends. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Romans 12:2

A Season of the Unknown

Why Spring is a tough time for military families.

My little Ellie swinging at Joint Base Anacostia-Bolling.

Spring is my favorite season. It starts getting warm, the flowers are blooming, there are baby animals, and it gives me this new energy and excitement that summer is coming! Spring brings with it new opportunity, and refreshment from the cold and gray of winter.

Spring is also a really hard time for me. As the wife of an Air Force officer, spring means more than just seasons changing. Spring means loss. Spring means challenge. Spring means work.

Spring marks the beginning of PCS season for military families. PCS stands for Permanent Change of Station. You know the military is all about acronyms. Permanent Change of Station means that families all across the world pack up their lives and move to a new geographical location based on the needs of the military. Our family PCSes (It’s a noun and also a verb) on average every two years, but we go through PCS season every year.

Right now, many of the friends I have made at this station do not know if they will be here in a couple months. The military does not always allow for advanced notice. This means they don’t know what house they will be living in, what schools their kids will be going to, if they can keep or get a job, among many other unknowns. And I don’t know if we will live near each other anymore.

The ones who know they are moving this summer are now working on finding housing at their new assignment, looking for jobs and schools, and arranging for movers, purging and packing all their belongings. Some families have to leave pets – and even children – in some circumstances. They have to leave friends and communities, and watch their kids do the same.

And then, there are those who don’t move. The ones like my family this year – who get left behind. We are not moving this summer, which is a blessing, but it is also very difficult. Every year we have not moved is like watching a parade of moving trucks arriving and leaving, and goodbyes and hugs and tears. As the kids get older it is harder for them to watch their friends leave and not know if or when they will see them again.

So far, we are losing at least two of our favorite families – maybe three or four or five. My oldest daughter is losing her best friend. Although technology and good ol’ snail mail can help us stay in touch, it is still difficult to realize the physical community we have loved for two years is going to look a lot different – again.

But with the loss also comes gain. New families will move to the area, and new friends will be made. New connections will be found and those who stay will deepen our relationships with each other. Just like spring, there will be rain but also sun.

For our family, this spring brings the additional uncertainty of a looming deployment. My husband will be deploying this fall, and once again those familiar feelings of not knowing what those six months will look like have returned. This time, the kids are older which is both rain and sun, because they can help me more, but they also are more aware of the void of their father being gone. This spring is the beginning of the preparation for him to leave. New uniforms and gear, training dates, family time labeled “before he goes”, paperwork including wills and power of attorney, going away parties, and planning for while he’s gone.

As spring goes on, and plans come together, and families leave and families arrive, we are reminded that a house is not a home, that geographical location does not determine friendship, and that God is always in control no matter what change is about to happen in our lives.

Our husbands serve so that we can be safe and sound in America. And those women who serve do the same as they put their own wants and needs aside for the good of others. Service before self. Military families know that life is not always easy but that our service and our challenges have a purpose.

I know when my husband deploys, he is doing what he signed up to do. It is my honor to support my country by supporting him and caring for our kids while he’s gone – even though I have to remind myself of this at times. I know when my friends leave, I am not losing them if I make it a priority to stay in touch. When I watch my kids hurt because of the challenges they face, I know that with proper comfort and guidance they will be made stronger through adversity.

I know that when it is our turn to leave, that it will be difficult to say goodbye, but that this adventure is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and we will be blessed in each new assignment.

I have made some of my best friends on this journey, and I have experienced a lot of heartache. I don’t always know the best or right way to handle this unique military life, but I press on because I know that serving others is what life is all about. I know that sacrifice is good for the soul, and that our country would not be what it is without people who are willing to struggle in pursuit of goodness.

This spring and summer, if you meet a military member, spouse, or family, please give them a hug. They might be leaving, they might be staying. They might have a spouse or parent deployed. They might be waiting for deployment. They might have just lost a friend. They might be on the way to a new adventure. They might be in the middle of the unknown. We, the military families of America are facing challenges this spring. We need you. Our kids need you. Sometimes a hug is all it takes to let a service-member or service-family know they are not alone.

Is Life Balance Possible?

7 Ways to Keep from Falling.

It’s like the holy grail. The fountain of youth. Stuff of legend yet longed for by many. It’s the elusive concept of BALANCE. Some claim they have it. Some have ceased trying to find it.

Is balance possible? Is it useless to try to find it?

When I got married, I got hit with the reality that I did not know how to keep a house. I was working full time from home, and I wanted to have dinner made and a clean home when Andy got home every day. I wanted to have laundry folded and put away. I wanted to have our dogs cared for and our budget managed, and the groceries shopped for.

It would get ahead of me, and I would get behind with all I needed to do, and I would be frustrated with my inability to keep up.

Five years into our marriage, I got pregnant with our first baby girl. I was sick for the first trimester, and we moved from Montana to New Jersey for our first military PCS (Permanent Change of Station). We lived on base for the first time, had a baby, and my lack of balance became even more obvious as I tried to survive learning how to be a mom for the first time.

It wasn’t until we moved to California and our second daughter was born, that this imbalance really started to take its toll on my life, my marriage, and my kids. I was very stressed with two young kids, far from my family, trying to do all and be all to everyone. I was overwhelmed and struggling to keep it together.

We had our third daughter and moved back to New Jersey. This time in New Jersey I was excited to make friends and get involved. We also did a new thing: homeschool. It was great and challenging all at the same time. I was on the women’s ministry board on base, a key spouse for my husband’s squadron, taking kids to dance lessons and church group, and I was on the verge of a meltdown the whole time. I loved everything I was doing, but I had over-committed my time and energy. I once again found myself stretched thin and worn out.

And so it went for years as I was trying to navigate marriage and motherhood and my own identity, trying to live a Godly life but still not able to sit at Jesus’ feet. Instead I always felt like I wasn’t doing enough.

These have been the marks of my unbalanced life: stress, anxiety, guilt, sickness, irritability, fighting with my husband, snapping at my kids, procrastination, laziness, selfishness, depression, fear, forgetfulness, and insecurity. None of these are the marks of a woman who is living in thrival mode, with eyes set on Jesus. These are the marks of a woman who is trying to please people and herself, and look “good” to the world. A woman who is trying to stay busy to distract herself from the aspects of life she’s not proud of.

We live in D.C. now. Almost immediately after moving here we found out we were pregnant with bay girl #4. It was not what I had planned for. We were living in a city for the first time, and I was scared. Now we had a baby on the way. As usual, I got sick with the pregnancy and I started to panic. How could I homeschool my three kids while I’m sick in bed? Am I ruining my kids by letting them watch too much TV? Andy was doing EVERYTHING and the guilt and anxiety mounted. I had awful feelings like I wished I wasn’t pregnant, and it was the worst season of survival mode of my life. Talk about being unbalanced!

But this beautiful thing happened. I was feeling so alone and far from God, and I reached out to other homeschool moms for help. It has never been an easy thing for me to ask for or accept help. But as soon as I let others into my suffering, God was there. These ladies brought coolers full of meals for our family to help lighten the load, and they offered counsel. These moms who had been down this trail before, assured me that a few months of inactivity would not ruin my children, and that there was no reason to give up on the path God had led us to, unless God clearly called us away from it. The strength I found in the help of God through other people gave me the confidence to push through and continue homeschool even though things were so difficult.

Our fourth daughter was born in April 2018. Like any family with a newborn, we did our best to keep things running smoothly as we endured sleepless nights and other challenges that go along with raising newborns. I wouldn’t say our balance was perfect, but having done this three other times, we gave ourselves grace and made space in our lives so that we could easily grow into a family of six. It was a beautiful transition. Summer was spent enjoying our new baby and exploring the city.

When fall hit and school started again, I found that I was out of balance again because I had failed to plan for schedule changes. The time I had used over the summer to cook and keep up with the house was now occupied with teaching. It took me by surprise, but it also taught me something. Finding balance is all about planning and learning and adjusting.

As this year has gone on, my ability to stay balanced has increased like never before. I can accomplish more and I’m getting overwhelmed less. Mostly I attribute this to God working in me and strengthening me, but there are a few things I’ve noticed that are different about the balanced life vs. the unbalanced life:

#1 You have to put your priorities in order. I was a dancer and gymnast as a kid, and one of the major principles of keeping your balance say, on a balance beam or doing pirouettes, is you find a spot on the wall in front of you to focus on. This keeps you from losing your balance or getting dizzy as you spin. This is true in life as well. If you have no focus, you will fall every time. Your responsibilities and tasks will spin into a blur and you’ll find yourself dizzy in the mess. When you put your priorities in order, you know what to focus on and it keeps your equilibrium stable. For me, that focus point is Jesus. It is looking for His face in everything I do.

The Bible says it this way: “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Matthew‬ ‭6:33‬ ‭NLT‬‬ (New Living Translation)

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”
Matthew‬ ‭6:33‬ ‭NLT‬‬ (New Living Translation)

I have seen this in real life. When I focus on God, everything else falls into place.

Right now in my life, I can’t work full time AND homeschool my kids. According to my priorities, God comes first and He has given me a husband and kids to care for. My husband comes second, and part of caring for my husband is making sure he has a meal to eat when he gets home. If I’m too exhausted from doing all the things, I am not able to care for him. My children are my #3 priority and I believe that the best I can give them is a stay-at-home mom and for now, homeschooling. Are there days I want to go out and work at a job? Sure! But, I know that 18 years will fly by and when they are out on their own, I can do whatever I want with my time. Right now, work takes the #4 or #5 position in my life. After I’ve completed my role as Mom, work may earn a new rank on my list.

#2 You can do “it all” just not all at the same time. Someone I know recently wrote a post about balance vs. juggling. It was her theory that it is better to juggle rather than balance. I won’t go into the whole thing, but this just sounds so exhausting to me. Juggling sounds like a lot of work trying to keep all those balls in the air. And what happens when you get tired? You fall, and ALL the balls fall on you. No, I don’t think you can juggle constantly without completely crashing, letting yourself down and anyone else who depends on you.

The world tells women that we can do it all. I agree. We live in a world with so many resources, that we can do almost anything our hearts desire. And when you have God on your side, you really CAN do it all. In the Bible, the apostle Paul says, “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Philippians‬ ‭4:13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

What Paul was actually talking about is that whatever God gives him, be it a little or a lot, he can be content. That is balance.

While the world also tells us we can do everything, what it doesn’t tell you is that a) You DON’T HAVE TO Do everything. And b) If you want to do it all, you can’t do it all at the same time. You cannot run a marathon and cook a gourmet meal at the same time. You can’t work a full time job and be home full time with your kids. You will either work 50% and be home with your kids 50%, or you’ll be working 100% OR home with your kids 100%. There is no such thing as 200% or 300% or 600%. You only get 100%, and you have to decide how to spend it.

#3 Don’t multi-task. Multi-tasking is like juggling. All those balls in the air. It’s a lot of work for only a small percentage of care for each ball.

I don’t like to multi-task. Instead, I prefer to be 100% in whatever I am doing at the moment, even if it is a short moment. I am not spending quality time with my kids if I’m listening with one ear and looking at my phone. If I’m working, I work. If I’m with my kids, I’m with my kids. When my kids are occupied or asleep, then I work.

#4 Saying, “No”, is ok. Learn to say, “No” to the right things and “Yes” to the right things. Sometimes we say, “Yes” to good things, but we need to say, “Yes” to the right things, not EVERY thing. We may be qualified for it all, but that doesn’t mean we should be DOING it all.

#5 Rest is not an option, it’s a must. To many, rest sounds like an impossibility. Taking a day off from all work sometimes is just not an option! Especially if you’re a parent. There’s always work to be done. But rest can be found. In fact, the same way you have to make time for the things that matter, you often have to make time to rest.

In fact, God commands us to rest, in the same way He commands us not to steal or murder or commit adultery. Keeping your focus on God means you make time for rest, which also means you take care of yourself. Read more about how to make self-care a part of your routine in Lisa’s post.

#6 Plan ahead and be ready to adjust as needed. When you plan ahead and make sure that you have time for everyone and everything you have committed to, sometimes it looks good on paper but in reality is way too much. Adjust! Sometimes, we have extra time and we can add in an extra thing easily. Adjust! It’s ok to deviate from the plan to make sure that our priorities stay in order and we’re not going to burn out. And when we have extra time, then we can add something in!

#7 Balance does not mean that everything is perfect. Right now, I feel pretty balanced in my life. I spend time each day reading the Bible and praying, I serve at my church on Sundays and from home helping with social media, I take care of my husband in the ways I know he needs me, my kids are happy, healthy, and educated, and I am involved in the things I love while also making ample time to rest. But, the past couple weeks have been busy, so my house isn’t as clean as I’d like. And here’s the thing, that is ok! I know that in the next couple days I will have time to clean, and my kids can help as part of their chores. If I had no time in my schedule to clean, then I would consider this out of balance, because a clean house is part of taking care of my family – priority #2.

Balance doesn’t mean that everything is perfect all the time, but it means that there is white space around the responsibilities I have so that I can maintain my life with hard work but without burning out. It means that when something extra gets thrown in (a flat tire, or a sick kid) I am not pushed over the edge because I didn’t make room for flexibility. Balance means putting my life in order so I can stand confident before God, my family, and the mirror knowing that I am doing the right things in life in the right order. The guilt goes away, the anxiety lessens, and the stress dissipates. I am free to love God and others the way God intended, and be a servant instead of a beggar.

Balance means finding joy in life because the pressure is not too much and I am clear-headed, being able to move from one task to the next without worrying what I’m forgetting. Balance means trusting in God to take care of the details because my focus is on Him and He will make all my paths straight. Balance is not impossible. Balance is able to be found if you just put your focus in the right place.

We want to hear about the challenges you have with finding balance in your life!

Love + Blessings,

Jill

If You Visit Survival Mode, Don’t Stay Long.

My Tuesday THRIVAL Mode Muffins w/ Maple Glaze

I’ve always loved writing. It is probably my preferred method of communication, and when I get in the zone writing is to me as I would imagine playing the piano is to a concert pianist. The words flow out of my fingers effortlessly as I think and feel, and I am able to express myself using language in a way that has always felt natural to me.

When we started this blog, I was so excited to be able to stretch myself in writing, and have objectives and subjects to write about and share my opinions and odds and ends that I have learned over the years. So for my first topical post, I wanted to write about thriving instead of surviving. Of course, it was Easter weekend and time got away from me, energy slipped away, and when I did get to sit down at my computer, it was like I was bumping into a wall.

How do I put what I know into words? So, I quickly typed up all I could think of in order to get a draft ready for Heidi and Lisa to proof.

And then, like clockwork, yesterday happened. I woke up in a foul mood, totally unmotivated and worn out. All I wanted to do was get back in bed. And then the thoughts began: “You want to write about thriving and here you are, barely able to get through your day”.

The good in this is that with this topic fresh in my mind, I was able to put this into practice. I would not climb back in bed. I would not let my kids sit inside all day. I have mouths to feed and minds to shape, I have hearts to love and hands to hold. I have a God who is greater than my inability to handle life when I’m worn out.

I’ll tell you, yesterday did not go perfectly and I stumbled through it, but I did not settle for survival mode. Instead I chose THRIVAL mode. In the inspiring words of Elisabeth Elliott, I just “[did] the next thing”. I may have complained a bit to my husband, I may have not been the most patient with my kids, but I got them dressed, fed them, took them outside. We painted nails. I made muffins. We ate muffins. My husband came home from work and we went to our church’s community group. It wasn’t my finest day, and this may not be my finest piece of writing, but I pray that you’ll bare with me, because THRIVAL mode doesn’t mean perfect.

Here’s the thing: womanhood can be really confusing. In one moment we are told to have it all together and never let them see us sweat, and in the next moment our eyes are full of Internet images with parodies and memes about wine, sweatpants, dry shampoo, overeating and not wanting to get out of bed.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good glass of wine in my sweatpants after a long day! I also fully believe in God’s mandate for us to rest, but there is a tremendous difference between rest and gluttony/laziness.

Another theme that is pervasive with women in culture today is the conflicting notion that in pregnancy, we are so excited and celebratory. Then, baby is born and we’re all smiles, filling instagram feeds with an overload of pictures. Somewhere around toddlerhood (and in a lot of cases baby #2) we fall into this pit of, “What a difficult pain motherhood is”. Suddenly, because of my relentless motherhood season, I have an excuse to complain and look a HOT mess, neglecting myself and my spouse and we call it “survival mode”.

It’s not just moms that end up in this mode. Many women find life to be simply too overwhelming. Instead of recognizing it and adjusting course (by looking to God and other wise women for support) they settle for less than excellence, “survival mode”.

I have been in survival mode more times than I care to count. I would describe it as this feeling of holding on for dear life. One wrong move, or one more added thing might push me off the edge. It’s not a fun place to be. It’s a needy place to be. It’s a feeling of not being able to help anyone else because I can’t even help myself. I don’t like being there. For me, survival mode often turns into anxiety and depression.

As a military spouse, I can say with confidence, there are absolutely times that survival mode is necessary. There are things in life that can throw us off course and take us by surprise, okay SHOCK, and it’s in these moments just breathing seems difficult. The things that nightmares are made of, that actually happen in real life can often leave us clinging to Jesus and holding on for dear life, because we’re drowning. In these moments, just staying upright is what we are supposed to do, full on true survival. The closer we grow to God, the less and less even the worst situations can shake us.

Of course, most of life is not a crisis. Most of life is day-to-day challenges and stress that all human beings face, and as women we often turn our normal life struggles into an excuse to eat a tub of ice cream and stay on the couch. We call it survival mode. Or maybe we’re moms that hand our kids a tablet and some chicken nuggets and call this survival mode. These things are ok in moderation and we have to give ourselves grace! If we stay in survival mode too long, we can forget that we are made to do more than we think possible.

When at the end of your rope, you have a choice and one you may not realize is even an option. Obviously, “survival mode” is one or we can lean into God and begin to act in faith. When you feel like your gas tank is on E and daily task seem impossible, start with a simple prayer and select one Bible verse to memorize and meditate on. Next, its time to act! We can throw up our dirty hair into a bun, slap on some lipstick, and keep going. We don’t have to be perfect to get out of survival mode. We just have to decide to start improving. This is no longer survival mode…this is THRIVAL MODE!

THRIVAL Mode, to me, is more what God intended for us as women. In the book of John in The Bible, Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.” John‬ ‭10:10-15‬ ‭ESV‬

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.”
John 10:10-15 The Bible, English Standard Version

When you prioritize your relationship with Jesus, you have no need for survival mode. He leads you exactly where you need to go, and allows you rest when you need it (if you choose to take it). With God, He allows you thrive no matter what life throws at you, as you are living with an eternal perspective. It’s no longer about what you have and how good you can do something but what are you doing and why.

Who or what are you following? Are you worn out from comparing your life to what you see on social media? Are you trying to do it all on your own? Are you relying on a community of people you trust? Are you too busy and living without margin in your life? Do you always feel less than, so you default to survival mode? I assure you, you are where you are supposed to be and God has the strength and energy you need to be the woman He has made you to be. Is your house perfectly clean? Maybe, maybe not. Are your relationships perfect? Are you the best at your job? Maybe, maybe not. Are you pushing forward even when it gets tough? Yes. Do you refuse to give up? Yes. Are you leaning on God to allow you to take on more than you can handle alone? Yes. THIS is THRIVAL mode. THRIVAL mode isn’t about having every i dotted and t crossed. THRIVAL mode is living in the goodness and abundance that God offers in this life, and being able to serve others while being salt and light in this world. It means loving our family and friends well and working hard and walking by faith and not by fear.

THRIVAL mode means having the courage to try, to go and do even if we’re not perfect at it. Women in THRIVAL mode say, “yes” to the right things and “no” to the right things. Women in THRIVAL mode don’t give up when things don’t go their way, but they get back up and go at it again. Women in THRIVAL mode ask for help when they need it and help others when they need it. THRIVAL mode means less whining and more smiling. THRIVAL mode is where we should strive to be.

We are women and we have so much to offer. we cannot be all God made us to be if we constantly live in survival mode. Let’s be women in THRIVAL mode. Let’s keep our heads high, take the next step, and thrive.

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
Isaiah 40:28-31 The Bible, English Standard Version

Love,

Jill

*Disclaimer: This blog post contains a link to a product that I used and liked. How Estherly does not earn commission from this product mention, however there are other affiliate links on this blog that do earn commission to support How Estherly.

How Estherly You Are

What womanhood was meant to be.

“Sweetest Lord, make me appreciative of the dignity of my high vocation, and its many responsibilities. Never permit me to disgrace it by giving way to coldness, unkindness, or impatience.”
Mother Teresa

Women are incredible human beings. We are made in the image of God and we have unique gifts and talents and abilities. We are incredibly strong and have great power.

It seems that some of what it means to be woman has been confused by this world we live in. Voices tell us that to be successful in womanhood, it must look this way or that way. That to elevate womanhood means stepping on our male counterparts. Just the word ‘feminism’ has taken on a strange connotation that seems to include one view of womanhood that is considered liberal and progressive.

When we look back in history, we see these beautiful and dynamic examples of women who were strong yet humble. They knew when to speak and when to listen. They took pride in who God made them to be and where He placed them in this world, and they did not waste the opportunities at their feet.

Eve, the mother of all humans was not perfect by any stretch but she braved the new world God had created. Queen Esther faced death and went boldly before the king to save her people. Abigail Adams educated herself, raised her four children, and supported her husband’s political endeavors. Mother Teresa followed her calling to care for the poorest in the world and inspire millions. Rosa Parks actually sat for what was right, and was a symbol of strength and courage for all the generations after her.

These women are just a few examples of what we are calling “estherly” women. Women we can learn from, look up to. Women who paved the way for the women of today.

We are three military wives who love Jesus, love our husbands and families, and love being women! We hope to inspire and encourage women from all walks of life with love, humor, and life hacks to help make womanhood a more joyful, abundant experience. We hope that together we can redefine what it means to be female, and raise one another up in life.

Being a woman does not mean that we have to be like men. It doesn’t mean that we have to bend to stereotypes or what the world tells us we are to be. Being a woman means courageously loving God and the people He has put in our lives. It means working hard and being strong in faith, and handling challenges with grace and dignity. Being a woman means passing on a legacy to our daughters and younger generations so that when we stand at the end of our lives, we can look back and see how other women have been strengthened because of us.

We hope that you’ll join us on this journey and engage with us as we write together and do life together. We hope that you will send your friends, sisters, mothers, daughters our way so we can build a community of like-minded women who are not afraid to stand up for what it really means to be female.

Thank you for joining us sisters.

We look forward to sharing our hearts with you.

“How Estherly. Strength + beauty … for just a time as this”.
Jill, Lisa, & Heidi